Our friends recently undertook a major house renovation. As part of the work, the crew cut down a young walnut tree in the front yard. I happened to be there on the day this was done. I overheard our friend’s young daughter say proudly, “Mummy, we learned in school that if you prune trees they grow bigger and stronger. Is that what will happen to this tree?” Her mother replied, “Honey, we’re not pruning the tree, we’re cutting it down.” The youngster appeared to carefully consider the answer for a few moments, and then she said. “But Mummy, if you cut it down, then how will you ever know how big it can grow?”
Sometimes, the most insightful leadership lessons come from the mouths of babes. This little girl had grasped something that experienced leaders already know. Namely, that pruning trees (or people) is a gentle art that takes finesse but results in a better and stronger tree. The same is true when offering constructive feedback. However, if you cut too much or too deep, the tree (or person) will fall, and then you will never know how big it can grow.
The difference between pruning and cutting
As leaders, you are charged with offering constructive feedback to your people, pruning, if you will. Good pruning leads to better and stronger employees. Yet, if your words and actions are said in haste or without careful thought, then you can cut too deep and the tree will come down. When that happens, you will never know how big the tree can grow, because your words and actions will limit that person’s ability to reach his or her full potential.
Effective constructive feedback requires leaders to think carefully about both their message and their delivery. Leaders, when you want to offer feedback to your employees, take the time to think through what you want to say and choose your words carefully. Your choice of words matters!
With thoughtful constructive feedback, your people will develop and strengthen, and perhaps exceed even your initial expectations.
Looking back on your own experience, what kind of feedback has helped you grow the most? How do you strike the right balance between challenging people and supporting them? Have you ever witnessed a situation where thoughtful feedback helped someone exceed expectations? Or the opposite? Please share your thoughts and experiences so we can all learn together. Add your comment below.
Merge’s leadership development consultancy has one singular focus – to turn managers into leaders; to help great people become exceptional leaders so that they can turn their people power into real and tangible results. Through her speaking, training, consulting, mentoring and facilitation services, Merge helps leaders in organizations create high-performing workplaces.
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