I once watched a manager congratulate one of her employees after a particularly successful project.
“You did an outstanding job,” she said. “The client was thrilled.”
The employee smiled awkwardly and immediately replied, “It really wasn’t that difficult. Besides, everyone else did most of the work.”
The manager paused for a moment before moving on with the conversation. But I couldn’t help wondering how differently that exchange might have ended if the employee had simply said, “Thank you. I really appreciate that.”
Many of us spend years working hard to earn recognition, yet become surprisingly uncomfortable when it’s time to accept praise. Instead of accepting the compliment, we instinctively explain it away, point out flaws in our performance, or redirect all the credit to someone else. Most of us believe we’re being humble. But learning to accept praise graciously is very different from seeking it. Are we really being humble?
Humility or self-dismissal?
There is an important difference between humility and self-dismissal. Humility means recognizing the contributions of others while also acknowledging your own effort. Self-dismissal means minimizing or denying your contribution altogether. One demonstrates confidence. The other quietly diminishes both your accomplishment and the kindness of the person offering the recognition. Learning to receive appreciation graciously is an important professional skill, and one that many of us never consciously develop.
In my latest Globe & Mail column, I explore why so many capable professionals struggle to accept praise, the hidden costs of brushing it aside, and several practical strategies for responding with confidence, authenticity, and grace.
Failing to accept praise diminishes your effort and hurts others. How to handle it like a pro
If you’re a Globe & Mail online subscriber, you can also read the original article here: https://tinyurl.com/mtjnekp4
Looking back on your own experience, how comfortable are you when you accept praise from others? Have you ever caught yourself downplaying a compliment? What has helped you receive appreciation graciously while remaining humble? Please share your thoughts and experiences so we can all learn together. Add your comment below.
Merge’s leadership development consultancy has one singular focus – to turn managers into leaders; to help great people become exceptional leaders so that they can turn their people power into real and tangible results. Through her speaking, training, consulting, mentoring and facilitation services, Merge helps leaders in organizations create high-performing workplaces.
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