You have no doubt have come across people in the workplace (and occasionally in your personal life) who are … ummm … shall we say … “difficult to work with”. As an essential first step in successfully dealing with difficult people, it is critical for you to change your perspective. Instead of seeing these people as a hindrance, see them as a help. That may sound counterintuitive, but it makes sense if you think of these people as if they were sandpaper.
Like sandpaper, they’re abrasive and rub you the wrong way. And as with sandpaper, the final finished product (you) has a smoother and more professional finish. It is only as a result of your experiences with these difficult people that you are able to further develop and polish the skills to effectively deal with them. The more they chafe you, the better you become. If you keep this fundamental idea in mind, it forms a positive first step towards developing a better working relationship by dealing with difficult people more effectively.
Remember this the next time you come face to face with one of these individuals. While it may not lessen the abrasiveness, it should dull the pain – and remind you that dealing with difficult people is a skill that gets better with practice.
What strategies have helped you stay composed or even grow when dealing with difficult people? Have you ever found that someone who once frustrated you actually helped sharpen your skills? How do you reframe abrasive situations into opportunities for learning? Share your thoughts by adding a comment below. I’d love to hear how you handle the sandpaper in your world.
Merge’s leadership development consultancy has one singular focus – to turn managers into leaders; to help great people become exceptional leaders so that they can turn their people power into real and tangible results. Through her speaking, training, consulting, mentoring and facilitation services, Merge helps leaders in organizations create high-performing workplaces.
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