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Tag Archives: workplace relationships

How to work with a narcissist

An “extreme” narcissist is someone who has an inflated sense of their own importance, a deep need for excessive attention and admiration, and a lack of empathy for others. In the workplace, this manifests as someone who exaggerates their achievements, takes credit for others work, needs constant adoration, is self-entitled, and uses other people to further themselves.  If you happen to work with one, or even worse, for one, it can be a waking nightmare!

So can you stop these people from making your work life miserable?  Or is quitting your only option?  The good news is that most narcissists don’t stick around in a single job for very long.  So if you can find ways to achieve a working relationship that is at least tolerable, you just need to outlast them until they leave.

In my latest column in The Globe and Mail that published this morning, I offer several ideas to make your workday with a narcissist more bearable.

How to survive the ‘extreme’ narcissist and make your workday bearable

narcissist

If you get the print version of The Globe, you’ll find this column on page B9.

Note: if you are a subscriber to The Globe and Mail, you can also read the column directly at their website at this link: https://tgam.ca/33ZdMYB

What do you think?

Well, I’d love to hear about your experiences with narcissists in your workplace.  Have you been able to develop a tolerable working relationship?  What ideas do you have to share?  Please comment below. 

As frequent readers of the blog know, I write a monthly column for The Globe and Mail, under the broad banner of “Leadership Matters”.  My most recent columns are linked below:

How to work with someone you don’t respect

When you have little professional respect for a client, a co-worker, an employee, or even your boss, it can be difficult to stay motivated and get things done.  But the unfortunate reality is that sooner or later, you will have to work with or for someone you don’t respect — people whom you may find difficult, distasteful or downright unbearable.  While it’s certainly easier to work alongside those you like, don’t fall into the trap of thinking that you can only do a good job if you respect your workmates. In fact, you can function effectively with (almost) anyone if you keep just a few things in mind.

It is possible!

How to work with someone you don’t respect is exactly the subject I address in my latest column in The Globe and Mail which published this morning.

How to work with almost everyone — even those you don’t respect

If you get the print version of The Globe, you would have seen it on page B9.

Note: if you are a subscriber to The Globe and Mail, you can also read the column directly at their website at this link: https://tgam.ca/2B9JDKz

The reality is that sometimes you’re just going to have to work with people you don’t like and respect – it’s all part of being an adult in the world of work.  You’ve read my suggestions.  What is your advice to handle these kinds of situations with poise and equanimity?  I’d love to hear from you.  Please share by adding your Comments below.

Five foolproof ways to destroy workplace trust

Are you trustworthy?  Do you find that your coworkers are reluctant to rely on you?  Are you left out of confidential meetings?  Does your supervisor double-check your work or micro-manage you?  Are you always the last person to find out what everyone else already seems to know?

Regular readers of the blog know that I often talk about the importance of building workplace trust.  In fact, in a previous blog post titled How can you build trust in the workplace?, I offered four ideas. Workplace trust is essential to establish not only your reputation, but also to build a strong network of people who will help you throughout your career.  So if you often find yourself in situations such as those above, it may be time to self-reflect; to consider whether your own actions are inadvertently causing others to view you as untrustworthy.

Five things you may be doing that send the wrong message

My latest column in The Globe and Mail published on December 31, and in it I spelled out five unintentional behaviours you may be exhibiting that cause others think that you are not to be trusted.

Unintentional behaviours may be sending co-workers signals you’re untrustworthy

workplace trustIf you get the print version of The Globe, you would have seen it on page B7.

Note: if you are a subscriber to The Globe and Mail, you can also read the column directly at their website at this link: https://tgam.ca/2VlSTDZ

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this topic.  Do you work with people who are untrustworthy?  Are there any other signs that you think are dead giveaways of people who should not be trusted?  Please share your perspective and your experiences by adding your comments below.

Strengthen social bonds at work by using music

Strengthen social bondsBack in July, music therapist and my professional colleague Jennifer Buchanan guested on the blog with a post on boosting productivity at the office by using music.  Because this is an area that not many people are knowledgeable about, I was delighted to give our readers an opportunity to learn more about how music therapists use music to curb stress, boost morale, and restore health, and what leaders could learn that would benefit their workplaces.  Her post was so well-received that I was thrilled that she agreed to contribute a second post to the blog.  Her contribution today is about music can be used to strengthen social bonds at work.  And as leaders, we know how important it is to nurture and strengthen social bonds between employees – it leads to increased morale, higher productivity and less turnover.

Music: the culture connection that can strengthen social bonds

There is no doubt that music plays a role in our wellbeing. But researchers now suggest that music also plays a significant role in strengthening social bonds. In a 2013 review of the research on music, music psychologist Stefan Koelsch described several ways music impacts our ability to connect with one another—by affecting systems involved in empathy, trust, and cooperation. Here are some ways music can strengthen social bonds at work and hopefully get us back on track: Continue reading

Communicating upward? Think bullet points

I’ve written in the past about how it’s important to modify your approach when you’re communicating upward, including in this column – How to persuade and influence senior management – that I wrote for CFM&D Magazine.  I was reminded of it recently when I overheard a leader in a client organization giving advice to one of his staff.  He said:

“When a senior manager asks you the time, don’t describe how a watch works”.  

I chuckled to myself because it was such an apt description for the deep pit that so many subject matter experts stumble into.

Don’t “vomit data”

As managers rise in the leadership ranks in organizations, by necessity, they need to focus more on strategic issues and less on the minutiae.  So they count on the subject matter experts around them to study the details and make recommendations.  Continue reading

Customer Service Leadership Summit – advance registration deadline is midnight Wednesday

Customer Service Leadership SummitIf you’re a regular reader of the blog, or if you receive my monthly Mega Minutes, then you already know how excited I am about sharing the stage with three exceptional speakers at the Customer Service Leadership Summit in Calgary AB on November 15.  Not just these three amazing thought-leaders, but three industry experts will also be on stage, each of whom know exactly what they’re talking about and willing to share their extensive knowledge with you!  Why make the most common mistakes when you can learn how to avoid them from people who are incredibly successful at what they do?  The advance registration deadline is just two days away … just until midnight on Wednesday November 8.  If you act before then, you’ll save 30% off the standard rate.  On Thursday, the price will go up.  We only have a few seats left, so do it now!

Still not sure whether you should attend? Get a sample of what you can expect

If you’ve been waffling on whether or not you should attend, following are four videos that give you just a small taste of what you can expect.  Michael Kerr, Tina Varughese, and Jeff Mowatt are not just my professional colleagues who are renowned experts in their individual areas, but they are also professional speakers who know how to engage and entertain a business audience while sharing relevant ideas

Michael Kerr – Best-selling author

Tina Varughese – Cross-cultural communication expert

Jeff Mowatt – Customer service strategist

And … yours truly

Customer Service Leadership Summit – early bird rates only until Wednesday!

I am thrilled to be sharing the mainstage platform with three exceptional thought-leaders at the Customer Service Leadership Summit in Calgary on November 15.  If you receive my regular monthly Mega Minute, then you already know about this premier event, already tracking to be a sellout.

Customer Service Leadership Summit

Act now for early bird pricing!

I will be joining my professional colleagues – customer service strategist Jeff Mowatt, cross-cultural communication expert Tina Varughese, and best-selling author Mike Kerr – to share smart practices and fresh ideas to not just attract new customers, but also turn current customers into raving fans.  Plus, there will be a bonus super-session titled “Selling the Invisible: Growing your business when your ‘product’ is actually a service”, presented by a panel of industry experts, people just like you who’ve figured this out.

If this is something you know you need, then you must act now to take advantage of early bird pricing.  If you want to save 40% off standard rates, you have to act before midnight this Wednesday October 18.  On Thursday you’ll be paying more!  More details and online registration is on the Customer Service Leadership Summit website. Continue reading

Leaders need to exude a positive confident energy

jeffmowatt_2Earlier this past summer, my professional colleague, friend, and widely-respected customer service strategist Jeff Mowatt wrote a guest post titled How to motivate younger employees.  His contribution was received with such interest that I asked him if he would guest again, and I was delighted when he agreed.  His column today is about the importance of the positive, confident energy that leaders should create and model in their organizations, and it follows below.

P.S. I am excited that Jeff and I will be sharing the platform later this fall at the Customer Service Leadership Summit in Calgary.  We’ll both be delivering mainstage keynotes at this November 15 event, and if you are thinking about attending, you need to act now because this event is already tracking to be a sellout.  Early bird pricing is still in effect so get your tickets while you can.  More information about the Summit is at the end of Jeff’s post below.

How would Others Describe Your Energy?

Having worked with literally hundreds of managers and business owners who’ve brought me in to provide customer service training for their teams, I’ve discovered that when it comes to a leader’s vibe, there is a magic mix. To inspire others, a leader needs to be positive and optimistic while also being realistic. And your energy needs to be higher than average without being frenzied. In other words, the most effective leaders are those who exude quiet, confident energy. Easier said than done. Here are 3 tips for setting the kind of tone that positively engages teams. Continue reading

Dealing with narcissists at work

The July/August issue of CPA Magazine features a story about narcissists in the workplace, and how to function effectively with (or despite) them, no matter whether they are your co-workers or your boss.  Yours truly was honoured to be interviewed as an expert source.  Not just an expert source though as I come by some of this knowledge first-hand.  Back in the 1990’s, I (barely) survived an egomaniacal boss and I live to tell the tale!

narcissists and egomaniacs
Narcissism isn’t just confined to the political arena

In recent months, the popular press has been all abuzz about a certain narcissist (no name needed) in international politics.  But unfortunately, Continue reading

What creates healthy employees? The Globe’s Employee Recommended Workplace Awards offers insights

ERWAJust over one year ago, I told all of you about this very cool project that was sponsored by my colleagues at The Globe & Mail – a Canada-wide survey that is investigating what companies are doing to foster a working environment that creates engaged AND healthy employees.  The definition of “healthy” doesn’t just mean physical health, but also mental, work and life health.  This year-long project culminated with nine companies receiving the inaugural annual Employee Recommended Workplace Awards last month in Toronto.    Winners were announced in three categories (private, public, and not-for-profit/government) in the small, mid-sized and large groupings, and you can see them here (scroll down to find the list).

What creates healthy employees?

A follow-up story in The Globe on engaged and healthy employees titled The winning formulas for workplace wellness offered an opportunity for each of these companies to list the single factor that they believe caused their employees to rank them so highly.  You can read the entire article at the link I’ve given you, but I’ve listed the nine factors for you below: Continue reading